yard goblin

I’m taking the rest of the summer off. That’s the thing about gardening: this time of the year, it’s a lot to keep up with gardening and writing about it. So I’m going to tend to the plants. See you in the fall.

But barely. Or at least that’s how it feels. It is disgustingly hot. I don’t do well in the heat. It aggravates my neuropathy symptoms, among other things. This is the time of year when I mostly endure my yard and garden instead of enjoying them. Gone are the days of having my coffee on the front stoop, watching my flowers bloom. It’s about a million degrees on my east-facing front stoop at 8:00 a.m. It’s a little better out back in the morning, but the humidity… don’t even ask. And the bugs? Are they out at 8am? Oh yes they are. They’re out 24/7 this time of year, and they love to bite me. Speaking of bugs, this critter is one of the reasons I’m only just keeping up with the weeding right now: meet the cicada killer wasp.

It’s a bit hard to tell from this photo, but these guys are nearly 2 inches long, and I swear I’ve seen some bigger than that. They are huge and fearsome. They fly low over the ground, fight with each other, occasionally hassle the bumblebees, and, yes, they kill cicadas. We’ve seen them taking cicadas to their burrows: they paralyze them with a sting, lay eggs in the cicada, and shove them in the burrows. The larva eat the cicada and then apparently overwinter in the burrows and come out in mid to late summer.

The first summer we were in our house, we had less than a dozen of these things. We didn’t know what they were. After we found out, we though, “oh, that’s pretty interesting.” This is our third summer in the house and one morning last week I counted over 25 of them. The aren’t terribly aggressive, but they are terrifying! They can sting, and they strafe you, dammit! The damn things are everywhere this year. We’re trying to watch where they dig their burrows so we can pour some boiling water down them later this summer. Cicada season has barely even started, so I guess we have a while to go. I’m over the interesting part. I want my yard back.

But good things are still happening. My zinnias.

More coreopsis.

The black and blue salvia is blooming, and we’re getting the first of our cucumbers. We’ve also harvested just a few hot peppers: a couple banana peppers and jalepenos, before the jalepeno plant mysteriously died. Oh, and the white echinacea has it’s first bloom. I’ll have to get a picture of that soon.

What is not happening is ripe tomatoes. Huge plants? We got ‘em. The German Queen tomato is almost 6 feet tall. Mr. Stripey isn’t as tall, but he’s spreading out so much that he needs two tomato cages. Green tomatoes? We got ‘em. The chocolate cherries and the tiny red currants – planted later that all the others – even have green tomatoes. German Queen is covered in them. But nothing is ripe. We’ve even had rain. No blossom end rot, hardly any pests. So what’s up, my tomatoey friends? Where’s the red? I just don’t know. But the Husband told me yesterday, as I was bitching about it, that he was going to remind me of this when we’re drowning in tomatoes and I’m complaining about that.

Even the suburban backyard garden is an adventure from year to year.

It’s gotten very hot early this year. I spend a lot of time moving the hose around out front, trying to water all the plants at the root. One day last week, I gave up and used the sprinkler. Where’s all the rain now that we need it? At least the drip hoses out back mean all I have to do is turn on the spigot. Anyway, the watering work is paying off for the gazanias. Gods, these flowers are incredible. They seem to open during the day when they’re in full sun, and when the front starts getting shade in the late afternoon, the modestly close their petals. I really, really hope these are perennials; at least self-seeders. Please, oh please. I’ll mulch real good, I swears!

My other favorite is finally blooming also: the white and magenta coreopsis.

And I spotted our first tomato of the year. It’s on the German Queen heirloom plant. Funny: I bought one F1 hybrid, the Best Boy, and it is by far the shittiest looking tomato in the garden. It’s being eaten by something, but it’s trying to grow. I’ve decided I’m going to let it go – maybe the critters can nom it and leave my other tomatoes alone. Our plums are almost ripe, but we’ve only got three this year. I think the squirrels might have made off with the others while they were still green.

I’m leaving you today with my interesting purple coneflower. Most of the plant is fine, but check out the flower in the upper right. That is just one flower, not two resting back-to-back. WTF?

I admit it: I’ve been a total snob about the day lily. Too boring, too plain, too pedestrian, they’re everywhere. Meh. But because of our kind of crappy soil out front, I went looking for a half-decent day lily to put in. Based on the little picture on the info stick, I chose the Sweet Hot Chocolate day lily. It bloomed today.

I am corrected. Day lilies do have a place in my garden. This thing is just lovely, and it’s got seven more buds on it. I’ve got to get better about watering out front. This was from my last trip to the nursery: “last” as in my most recent and my final trip. I bought $130 worth of flowers. Must stop now. But I finally got my hollyhocks. One of them is blooming too. Hollyhocks = utter happiness.

I can’t wait until the other four (yes, four) get going. I might have to take a day off work just to admire my flowers. Wait – it’s about 97 degrees here today, so maybe not an entire day.

Stacy has been extolling the virtues of gazanias for some time now. The photos are lovely, so when I saw some on my impromptu trip to a nursery last month, I thought, “Oh, why not? Can’t have too many flowers.” But I didn’t really get it. It took a while for my first one to bloom, and the greenery was less than impressive in our dreary spring; so, I have to admit, I thought maybe the Florida heat and humidity had finally fried her brain. Gazanias? Eh, they’re okay, I guess.

Oh, I get it now. Boy do I get it. And it’s funny, because the ones I’ve planted are still not doing that much: they’re just kind of… cute. Their greenery looks like an enthusiastic dandelion, and they’re not rewarding me with a zillion blooms or anything. Just the one. And it’s a small flower. But, oh. My. Goodness. It is captivating.

The petals are so creamy. Then there’s the buttery blush on them, and the crazy someone-colored-me-with-magic-markers stuff toward the center. And the gentle fluting of the petals in the center. Gazanias are so lovely! I should have paid attention to Stacy last year, and I could’ve started enjoying them a long time ago!

I don’t even know what variety this is. I just know that I want to nom these flowers out of sheer happiness. I have four or five others planted out front. I can’t wait to see what they’re blooms are like, because I’m at least pretty sure that I bought a mixed flat of them.

The weather this morning is unusally nice: sunny, a bit cooler than normal, and low humidity. It might be to blame for my sudden desire to go to the nursery today. I need more flowers. One of the front beds is dismal: the soil is fairly poor, and I don’t know what to put there. Even mint died in this bed. I’m thinking maybe day lillies. And I’ve been wanting a lace-cap hydrangea. And although my verbena returned and sent out three new volunteers, I don’t have enough flowers out back. The zinnias and the sunflowers have sprouted, but it looks like everything else is a bust. So I HAVE to go to the nursery and see what’s in stock, don’t I? Of course I do. Maybe I’ll get the Husband a canteloupe or something else that he likes… oh, maybe they’ve got some okra. I hate okra. Yes, I’ve tried it fried. I’ve tried it fresh and young right off the plant. It’s all disgusting. But okra flowers are gorgeous.

I swear I think I could forego food and grow nothing but flowers.